First off ...I do not promote self-harm, eating disorders or any other illness. I struggle every day to find some kind of normalcy in my life. My weight has its highs and lows and is always an inner battle within myself. I am an expert of faking a smile. No one realizes the pain i feel. I try to keep my true feelings a secret only i know. I'm so scared to let someone into my world. Sometimes I feel like Ive become so good at feeling numb I stop feeling emotion altogether. I want nothing more than just to feel less misunderstood and to find some sort of happiness to thrive on.
It’s quite sad actually. It’s sad that I’ve accepted this. I’ve accepted the sadness. I don’t run from it any more. I’ve let it surround me. I’ve let it seep into my veins and break my bones. It’s in my lungs and every inch of my mind. I’ve let myself get trapped by it, and only I’m at fault. No one but me.