First off ...I do not promote self-harm, eating disorders or any other illness. I struggle every day to find some kind of normalcy in my life. My weight has its highs and lows and is always an inner battle within myself. I am an expert of faking a smile. No one realizes the pain i feel. I try to keep my true feelings a secret only i know. I'm so scared to let someone into my world. Sometimes I feel like Ive become so good at feeling numb I stop feeling emotion altogether. I want nothing more than just to feel less misunderstood and to find some sort of happiness to thrive on.